May 2021 - Hypnotherapy in Singapore

Hypnosis for Sleep

May 25, 2021

How to use hypnosis to get a great night’s sleep!

For many people, having a busy and often stressful life can sometimes lead to poor quality sleep. And in recent times, where COVID-related anxiety is increasing, sleep is eluding more people than ever before.

“COVID-19 is causing a huge amount of anxiety for so many people,” says Kimberly Hardin, a UC Davis Health professor in the Internal Medicine Department. “People worry about jobs, about their children being home, about getting sick. There’s a lot more anxiety, fear and depression – and those can cause insomnia.”

It’s being called “coronasomnia.” It’s very real and very widespread.

What will I learn in this blog?

• How vital sleep is to our waking hours
• How important sleep is to our mental and physical health
• Some basic tips to ensuring I get a good night’s sleep
• How self-hypnosis could help you find the sleep you need

A good night’s sleep.

Of course, we all know here’s nothing better than a good night’s rest. But have you ever wondered why that’s true? It’s hard to understand how important sleep is to staying healthy and feeling your best until you haven’t slept enough.

But when you add up the number of hours you spend sleeping, that amounts to about a third of your life—so it must be good for something.

Bad sleep creates a decrease in mental functioning, a lack of awareness and attention to the world around you, it can produce a distorted sense of time, and immense fatigue.

So, to make the most out of your waking time, you have to make the best of your sleeping time.

How is Hypnosis linked to Sleep?

One of the problems in achieving good quality sleep, is that no one really knows how to do it. It’s not like learning to ride a bike or playing a musical instrument, so the more you do it the better you get, with sleep we simply go to bed, close our eyes and hope that something happens.

To understand something about sleep, you also have to understand a little bit about hypnosis.

Hypnosis, is the communication between the two basic parts of your mind; your conscious mind, that’s the rational analytical thinking, questioning part of your mind, the part of you that is listening to and analysing what I’m saying, and your subconscious mind, that’s the part of you that’s responsible for digesting your breakfast, blinking, beating your heart and, yes, you guessed it the part of you responsible for sleep.

When you’re awake, as I hope you still are, your conscious mind is listening to what I’m saying, and your subconscious mind is simply getting on with the business of running your body.

Now, as you fall asleep something rather interesting starts to happen. First your conscious mind becomes less and less active, at the same time your subconscious mind comes more and more to the front until you get to a half-way point, which is where you’re half awake and half asleep, it’s that lovely comfy, cosy, grey, floaty area that you’re aware of, just on the very edge of sleep.

Then something strange happens, all of a sudden you’re asleep; unconscious; you’re not aware of anything that’s happening around you but your subconscious mind is now in control, and that’s the part that wakes you up when your alarm clock goes off to early in the morning,

That part in the middle, that grey area between being awake and being asleep, that’s where hypnosis is, and when you’re in that strange dream like state for reasons that no-one has ever properly understood nor explained, you’re more open to the thoughts or suggestions that someone like me who is a qualified hypnotherapist can give you, or, in the right circumstance, suggestions that you can give yourself.

And that’s one of the reasons why sleep responds so well to hypnosis and self hypnosis, because to enter sleep, you have to pass through hypnosis. This passage through hypnosis has two different scientific names, as you go through hypnosis when you’re entering sleep, you go to hypnagogical hypnosis, when you awake coming out of sleep the other side you go through hypnoidal hypnosis.

Why does sleep elude me?

So, having a good attitude towards sleep, having an expectation that your sleep is going to be good and deep are very important parts in the process of actually getting a good nights sleep.

And here is a little secret about sleep, sleep is very, very …. Shy!

The more you chase after sleep, the more sleep runs in the opposite direction. The more you worry and think about your sleep, the less likely it is for you to be able to enter sleep. It’s only when you stop thinking about sleep, when you stop worrying, when you stop analysing, when you stop thinking about sleep…..only then does sleep come and find you.

If I ever I had trouble sleeping as a kid, my mum my mum told me that lying in bed with my eyes closed, being relaxed was almost as good as sleep. And that stopped my from worrying about getting to sleep.

Was she right? Not quite. But relaxation is a good second choice.

Sometimes referred to as quiet wakefulness, resting with your eyes closed can calm your mind, give at least some of your neurones a break (since you’re not actively thinking or concentrating on something), and let your muscles and organs relax. It can also reduce stress, improve your mood, and increase alertness, mental clarity, creativity, and motivation. All of these changes can enhance your productivity.

However, It’s only in the deeper stages of slumber that you get a substantial cognitive boost—resting won’t increase your ability to remember new information. It also won’t help your cells repair or regenerate themselves, and you won’t get some of the other physiological benefits—such as the release of growth hormone and other hormones.

Your body needs both sleep and rest. However, the important point is not to get stressed if you can’t instantly get to sleep. Getting anxious about getting to sleep sends sleep in the opposite direction.

So, how do you get a better nights sleep?

How to use hypnosis to super-power your sleep patterns.

We said at the beginning that no one really knows how to get to sleep, however there are three essential ingredients that we need in order to encourage sleep to come and find us.

Firstly and most importantly, we need to be calm calm in your mind. Calm in your thoughts, calm in your feelings, calm in your reactions, and calm in how you respond.

Only when your mind is truly calm, can sleep come and find you. And that means closing the door on all the events that have happened to you during your busy day. It also means closing the door and all the events were going to happen to you in the following day. It means being in the moment, feeling and being calm in your thoughts and your mind. Only then, will sleep come and find you.

The second most important thing that you need to be able to enter good quality sleep, is that your body needs to be physically relaxed. If you still have tension in your muscles and your body as a result of a busy or stressful day, then sleep again is going to be difficult to find.

The third most important thing that you need is some confidence in your safety, and confidence in your ability to be able to sleep. If your subconscious feels unsafe, it simply won’t let you go to sleep, when it thinks that being awake is important for your safety.

OK – How do I sleep like a baby?

So, let’s look at the evidence; if you’re stressed, tense and feeling vulnerable, sleep is the last thing your body thinks you need!!

To a very real extent, insomnia is the body’s way of protecting itself from danger.

But even if you haven’t slept well for many years or months, your body still knows how to do it, good sleep is part of your natural metabolism. Sleeping is part of being human after all.

Now that we know what the 3 pre-requisites for good sleep are, how do we go about feeling and being more calm, relaxed and safe as we prepare to go to sleep? Well, there are some obvious things to prepare yourself:

• Stick to a sleep schedule of the same bedtime and wake up time, even on the weekends. This helps to regulate your body’s clock and could help you enter sleep and stay asleep for the night.

• Practice a relaxing bedtime ritual. A relaxing, routine activity right before bedtime conducted away from bright lights helps separate your sleep time from activities that can cause excitement, stress or anxiety which can make it more difficult to fall asleep.

• Avoid naps, especially in the afternoon. Power napping may help you get through the day, but if you find that you can’t fall asleep at bedtime, eliminating even short catnaps may help.

• Exercise daily. Vigorous exercise is best, but even light exercise is better than no activity.

• Evaluate your room. Design your sleep environment to establish the conditions you need for sleep. Your bedroom should be cool, free from any noise that can disturb your sleep. Finally, your bedroom should be free from any light.

• Sleep on a comfortable mattress and pillows. Make sure your mattress is comfortable and supportive. The one you have been using for years may have exceeded its life expectancy – about 9 or 10 years for most good quality mattresses.

• Avoid bright light in the evening and expose yourself to sunlight in the morning. This will keep your circadian rhythms in check.

• Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and heavy meals in the evening. Alcohol, cigarettes and caffeine can disrupt sleep. Eating big or spicy meals can cause discomfort from indigestion that can make it hard to sleep. If you can, avoid eating large meals for two to three hours before bedtime. Try a light snack 45 minutes before bed if you’re still hungry.

• Wind down. Your body needs time to shift into sleep mode, so spend the last hour before bed doing a calming activity such as reading.

• Take your mobile phone out of your bedroom! Just this simple action can transform your sleep. The particular type of light emanating from the screens of these devices activates the brain, and because our phones are receiving emails and messages through the night, we never really switch ourselves off in case we miss something!

• Phones and computers do not belong in bedrooms – use your bedroom for 2 things; sleep and sex to strengthen the association between bed and sleep.

• Finally – start to practice some self-hypnosis!

• As you close your eyes and head to sleep, concentrate on your breathing, visualise every part of your body relaxing in turn, choose a soothing colour to filter through your body and let it put all the parts of you to see in turn.

• Image a door – you choose, maybe an old, heavy antique door, or a wrong steel safe door and gently see it closing on the day that’s gone, moving your thoughts away form whatever the day held. Find another door and put it at the point where you are due to wake up. Close them both. Leaving you in the middle. This is your time, your time away from the day that’s gone and apart from tomorrow. Your time to rest, to sleep, to re-energise. You deserve this space. Claim it as your own and don’t let anything disturb it.

Of course, coming to see a professional clinical hypnotherapist can really help to reset your circadian rhythm is and give you really good sleep.

You can get more information about good sleep from the NHS via this link. Or to find out more about hypnosis and how it works, have a look here.

CASE STUDY

Equine Vet, Wade Heath, sought help with sleep at the Hypnosis Clinic 14 years ago.

“I first sought Jonathan’s services in an attempt to help normalise my sleep patterns, (I was working shift work at the time), and to assist in my studies (in particular; information retention and the reduction of anxiety surrounding my examinations). Many years and three degrees later; (most recently my Doctor Of Veterinary Medicine) the resources that Jonathan provided with me continue to stand me in good stead.”, says Wade. “I cannot recommend Jonathan enough. His professionalism, extensive training and experience and gentle approach, are just some of the reasons why I still get great sleep”.

What did I learn here?

Getting good sleep is just getting into a good habit, and hypnosis can really help you to do that. Generally you should expect to have 3 to 4 sessions and and have a custom-made recording to get that new habit established really quickly.

If you’d like to find out more about how hypnosis can help you to get a good night’s sleep, have a look at our website. We offer a free initial consultation, either by a Telehealth video link or at our clinic In Novena Medical Centre.

Hypnosis to Quit Smoking

May 25, 2021

How to use hypnosis to stop smoking.

Every year around 78,000 people in the UK die from smoking, with many more living with debilitating smoking-related illnesses. Smoking increases your risk of developing more than 50 serious health conditions. Some may be fatal, and others can cause irreversible long-term damage to your health.

The average smoker will spend around £3,300 a year on cigarettes!

Nicotine is highly addictive, and smokers will develop a level of physical dependence to their use of tobacco. Nicotine is thought to be as addictive as heroin and cocaine. The tobacco industry has designed and modified cigarettes, adding additional chemicals, to make them as addictive as possible, according to the British Lung Foundation.

Becoming a non-smoker may be one of the hardest things you ever do in your life, and I know, I was a smoker for 20 years!

What will I learn in this blog?

• How smoking is bad for your long term health
• How to stop smoking for good and forever
• Some basic tips to keep you healthy
• How hypnosis can really help you to quit

How can hypnosis help you to stop smoking?

It seems that hypnosis is among the most effective methods to stop smoking naturally. In 2007, an American study showed that hypnosis was 3 times as effective as patches to stop smoking.

At The Hypnosis Clinic, we have a 2-pronged approach to helping someone become a non-smoker.

First we look at the causes, the reasons why someone smokes. It may be the underlying stress of work or relationships, the need to feel more confident socially and fit in, or just simply the habit of smoking 20 cigarettes a day for 30 years!

You see, the reason for smoking is slightly different for everyone, and that’s why hypnotherapy works so well, it’s a targeted approach and unique to the individual. Before we even start therapeutic work, we have a long chat about your life and lifestyle, so the underlying causes can be tackled in the most effective way.

The second part of the approach is to help with the essential control elements you need to stop smoking; willpower, focus, determination, resistance and confidence.

This combination approach really helps people to become nonsmokers in the shortest possible time! Of course, there’s a degree of personal willpower involved, it’s hypnosis, not magic, but most people will achieve their goal in between 2-4 sessions.

After a couple of sessions, I can also make a special self-hypnosis recording for you, containing all the positive rewards about stopping smoking for good. The recording is individual to you, so it’s powerful and effective.

One of the ways to make hypnosis even more powerful is for you to build a set of rewards for being a non-smoker. These are very personal you too; maybe it’s the money – £3,300 a year will buy you a pretty decent family holiday, a new car, a new kitchen, just imagine! Maybe it’s health-related, want to live longer for your kids or grandchildren? One cigarette reduces your life by 11 minutes! Maybe it’s sport related, want to get fit again, enjoy swimming or running? Life is so much better as a nonsmoker.

It may seem like an impossible task now, because the cravings can be very strong, however, once you make the decision to embark on your journey, as good hypnotherapist will give you the help and support that you need to be able to keep going.

Now, I don’t ever think about cigarettes, I don’t mind if other people smoke, and don’t even really object to the smell. I guess it’s as if someone just took the ‘smoker’ chip out of my brain and replaced it with a blank. That’s a nice place to be!

What happens when you quit?

(Courtesy of NHS)

How to get ready to quit.
• List your reasons to quit, give yourself lot of rewards like good health and more money.
• Tell people you’re quitting – when you make a commitment in front of other people, it has more strength.
• If you have tried to quit before, remember what worked and use it again.
• Use stop smoking aids, like patches or a self-hypnosis recording.
• Have a plan if you are tempted to smoke.
• List your smoking triggers and how to avoid them.
• Keep cravings at bay by keeping busy.
• Exercise away the urge.
• Join the Facebook group for support and advice.

What did I learn here?

Becoming a non-smoker is just getting into a good habit and keeping that good stuff going. Hypnosis can really help you to do that. Generally you should expect to have 3 to 4 sessions and and have a custom-made recording to get that new habit established really quickly.

If you’d like to find out more about how hypnosis can help you to to become a non-smoker, have a look at our website. We offer a free initial consultation, either by a Telehealth video link or at our clinic in Novena Medical Centre.

Weight Reduction

May 18, 2021

How to use hypnotherapy to reduce your weight.

More than half of adults have found it difficult to manage their weight during the COVID-19 lockdown, according to the results of an online survey involving over 800 UK adults, being presented at The European and International Congress on Obesity.

Most say their difficulties stemmed from increased snacking, not exercising as much as usual, increased anxiety or stress, and not being able get hold of healthier food.

The findings come at a time when the UK Government has unveiled a new obesity strategy with its ‘Better Health’ campaign to encourage millions of adults to kick start their health and reduce their risk of serious illness, including COVID-19. An estimated two-thirds (63%) of UK adults are above a healthy weight, with 36% having overweight, and 28% having obesity.

If you’re wanting to reduce your weight to a size and shape that’s more healthy, this blog will help to guide you in the right direction, and show you how to use the power of hypnosis to get results.

What will I learn in this blog?

• How to develop the willpower and determination to eat well
• How to set yourself positive rewards for success
• The importance of seeing food for what is really is
• How the right mindset will help you reduce weight for good

Why is it so difficult to reduce my weight?

There are so many factors that influence our weight, however, scientifically, they all come down to this from Harvard Medical School; on a very simple level, your weight depends on the number of calories you consume, how many of those calories you store, and how many you burn up. But each of these factors is influenced by a combination of genes and environment. Both can affect your physiology (such as how fast you burn calories) as well as your behaviour (the types of foods you choose to eat, for instance).

We all know the ‘right’ thing to do, lettuce is good, cream cakes are bad. So why is it often so difficult to make good decisions?

Maintaining a balanced diet is all about eating sufficient for what your body physically needs, and that’s where to problem lies; throughout our lives, we substitute food for love, for achievement, for satisfaction, for happiness. In short, we eat for our mental needs and not our physical ones.

Often, the causes of being overweight are not just as simple as making the wrong choices and not having enough willpower, they often lie deep in our subconscious mind.

What do I do to change all this?

Your attitude to food is important to get right at the start. A Clinical Hypnotherapist can help you to change your attitude to food, boost your willpower and self-confidence, whilst helping you uncover some of the subconscious motivation that might have been leading you down the wrong path.

OK – here are my Top Ten Tips from the NHS for success in reducing weight:

Have Breakfast

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day and it is. Skipping breakfast will not make you reduce your weight, you’ll miss out on essential nutrients and you are more likely to snack and make poor food decisions throughout the day because you’re famished.

Eat regularly

Eating at regular times will help train your body to burn calories at a faster rate. It will also reduce the temptation to snack on sugary or fatty goods between meals.

Enjoy plenty of fruit and veg

Fruit and veg are low in calories and fat, and high in fibre, which are 3 essential ingredients for successful weight loss. They also contain plenty of vitamins and minerals.

Get Active

Being active is key to reducing weight and keeping it off. As well as providing lots of health benefits, exercise can help burn off the excess calories you cannot lose through diet alone. Find an activity you enjoy and are able to fit into your routine.

Eat High Fibre foods

Foods containing lots of fibre can help keep you feeling full, which is perfect for reducing weight. Fibre is only found in food from plants, such as fruit and veg, oats, wholegrain bread, brown rice and pasta, and beans, peas and lentils.

Knowing how to read food labels can help you choose healthier options. Use the calorie information to work out how a particular food fits into your daily calorie allowance on the weight reduction plan.

Portion size!

Using smaller plates can help you eat smaller portions. By using smaller plates and bowls, you may be able to gradually get used to eating smaller portions without going hungry. It takes about 20 minutes for the stomach to tell the brain it’s full, so eat slowly and stop eating before you feel full.

Keep Away from Junk Food

To avoid temptation, do not stock junk food – such as chocolate, biscuits, crisps and sweet fizzy drinks – at home. Instead, opt for healthy snacks, such as fruit, unsalted rice cakes, oat cakes, unsalted or unsweetened popcorn, and fruit juice.

Cut down on the booze

A standard glass of wine can contain as many calories as a piece of chocolate. Over time, drinking too much can easily contribute to weight gain.

Get Planning and be positive

Plan your breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for the week, making sure you stick to your calorie allowance. You may find it helpful to make a weekly shopping list.

Adopt a positive mental attitude, by concentrating on your achievements. Give yourself rewards – some new clothes to suit your new shape, a party to show your friends your great new look, even a holiday (remember them?)

Get rid of the obsession with weighing yourself. Once a week is fine, same time on the same day, then at least you will get some positive feedback about how your progress is going.

Congratulate yourself on your successes and use any mistakes to empower your resolve and take you to the next level.

Remember that there will be ups and downs in your weight reduction journey, so see the bigger picture. As long as the overall trend is down, you’re on track.

Be patient too – long term weight reduction and maintenance is a slow race, not a sprint.

How does hypnosis help with weight reduction?

As you’ve seen, reducing your size, shape and weight starts with having the right attitude to food and adopting a lifestyle that you can maintain long-term.

Seeing a Clinical Hypnotherapist really can help you to change your relationship with food.

– Hypnosis helps address the core reasons why you have been gaining weight, so you can make the right decisions in the future

– Being more mentally calm will help you to make better eating decisions and help with determination and willpower.

– Have bags of confidence in the way that you look and your ability to achieve the goals you are looking for.

– Learn to love yourself, appreciate and nurture yourself.

– Understand that food is there purely for your physical needs, and not for your mental comfort.

We can even make a unique self hypnosis recording for you to use as your weight reduction journey continues, giving you those positive messages every day until you adopt this healthy new lifestyle for good.

CASE STUDY

Celia Willington had tried everything to reduce weight and decided that hypnosis was her last resort!

“After trying every single avenue to curb my life long battle with sugar addiction I decided to give hypnosis a go. I sceptically booked an appointment with Jonathan at the Hypnosis Clinic fully anticipating failure. I could not have been more wrong!

After four sessions not only had I stopped binging on sugar on a daily basis I hadn’t even thought about it. I no longer had to rely on will power every single minute of the day, my mind was at rest and I continue to be beyond happy with the results one year later. I now manage my hypnosis at home with a personalised recording Jonathan made for me and I occasionally top up as and when I can. It’s the best health investment I ever made, I’m a now a hypnosis advocate

A year later I decided to take my Daughter to see Jonathan as she was really struggling with her phobia of insects, particularly flies, bees, moths and butterflies. It even extended to fish in the sea. The poor thing was petrified of these things. Jonathan saw her for three sessions and made a recording for her. She was pretty quickly able to remain calm and over time she has lost her fear altogether. I can’t recommend Jonathan more highly.

What did I learn here?

That reducing and maintaining a healthy balanced weight is as much to do with your mind as it is with your body!

The right diet, coupled with the right attitude will take you to where you want to be.

If you’d like to find out more about how hypnosis can help you, have a look at our website. We offer a free initial consultation, either by a Telehealth video link or at our clinic run Novena Medical Centre.

Or if you fancy a chat, just give us a call.

Self-Confidence

May 11, 2021

How to use hypnosis to build self-confidence!

We all have times where we lack a bit of confidence, maybe the challenge of doing something different like starting a new job or a new relationship.

These moments of lacking self-confidence are usually transitory. Finding out that we are actually good at tacking something new in life, and being successful at it, can help to build a foundation for future enterprise.

The underpinning of good confidence is self-esteem. When you feel good about yourself, you are much more likely to be able to handle new things, and have a more positive expectation of success rather than a fear of failure.

Increasing your self-esteem and confidence is a skill you can easily learn.

What will I learn in this blog?

• That self-esteem is linked to confidence
• Self-esteem and self-value is something you can learn
• Looking at the cause of a lack of confidence is often useful
• How hypnosis could help you feel more confident

What is self-esteem anyhow?

Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves.

When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life’s ups and downs.

When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.

Low self-esteem often begins in childhood. Our teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and even the media send us positive and negative messages about ourselves. For some reason, the message that you are not good enough is the one that stays with you.

Perhaps you found it difficult to live up to other people’s expectations of you, or to your own expectations. Stress and difficult life events, such as serious illness or a bereavement, can have a negative effect on self-esteem. Personality can also play a part. Some people are just more prone to negative thinking, while others set impossibly high standards for themselves.

If you have low self-esteem or confidence, you may hide yourself away from social situations, stop trying new things, and avoid things you find challenging.

In the short term, avoiding challenging and difficult situations might make you feel safe. In the longer term, this can backfire because it reinforces your underlying doubts and fears. It teaches you the unhelpful rule that the only way to cope is by avoiding things.

Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety. You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as smoking and drinking too much, as a way of coping.

How do we build confidence?

The NHS has some great advice about building confidence. To boost your self-esteem, you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge them.

You may tell yourself you’re “too stupid” to apply for a new job, for example, or that “nobody cares” about you. Start to note these negative thoughts and write them on a piece of paper or in a diary.

Ask yourself when you first started to think these thoughts.

Next, start to write some evidence that challenges these negative beliefs, such as, “I’m really good at cryptic crosswords” or “My sister calls for a chat every week”.

Write down other positive things about yourself, such as “I’m thoughtful” or “I’m a great cook” or “I’m someone that others trust”. Also write some good things that other people say about you.

Aim to have at least 5 positive things on your list and add to it regularly. Then put your list somewhere you can see it. That way, you can keep reminding yourself that you’re OK.

You might have low confidence now because of what happened when you were growing up, but we can grow and develop new ways of seeing ourselves at any age.

Recognise what you’re good at. We’re all good at something, whether it’s cooking, singing, doing puzzles or being a friend. We also tend to enjoy doing the things we’re good at, which can help boost your mood

Build positive relationships. If you find certain people tend to bring you down, try to spend less time with them, or tell them how you feel about their words or actions.

Try to build relationships with people who are positive and who appreciate you.

Be kind to yourself. Being kind to yourself means being gentle to yourself at times when you feel like being self-critical.

Think what you’d say to a friend in a similar situation. We often give far better advice to others than we do to ourselves.

Learn to be assertive. Being assertive is about respecting other people’s opinions and needs, and expecting the same from them. One trick is to look at other people who act assertively and copy what they do. It’s not about pretending you’re someone you’re not. It’s picking up hints and tips from people you admire and letting the real you come out.

Start saying “no”. People with low self-esteem often feel they have to say yes to other people, even when they do not really want to. The risk is that you become overburdened, resentful, angry and depressed. For the most part, saying no does not upset relationships. It can be helpful to keep saying no, but in different ways, until they get the message.

Give yourself a challenge. We all feel nervous or afraid to do things at times. But people with healthy self-esteem do not let these feelings stop them trying new things or taking on challenges.

Set yourself a goal, such as joining an exercise class or going to a social occasion. Achieving your goals will help to increase your self-esteem.

How does hypnotherapy help with confidence?

Hypnotherapy works from 2 different directions, firstly to look and see what has actually caused the lack of confidence in the past, and then to give you the tools you need to be able to re-learn important lessons so that you can see yourself and the world you live in, in a more positive and optimistic light.

Hypnotherapy can help you to stop comparing and stay focussed on yourself, to relax a little more, stay focussed and not to worry unduly about the little things that don’t matter. It can help you to be more positive and optimistic, to see the good in every situation and remember that life is way to short to waste your time on things that aren’t important.

Remember, your exterior world is a reflection of who you are and how you feel about being you. To change your outer world, you have to change your inner world. That’s where hypnosis really comes in.

Click here to find out more about hypnosis and how it works.

CASE STUDY – Confidence

Elias Trudeau had suffered with lack of confidence all his life. Could hypnosis help?

“The therapist is very easy to work with and provides a relaxing atmosphere to help you achieve your goals. Sessions become a special place where you work together to calm down and focus on solutions to become a better version of yourself. After the session, you feel refreshed, focused, and determined to act and go about your daily routine in a more positive way. Over time, you start taking small steps toward improving yourself and realise how far you’ve come when you look back at who you were, but the first step is getting in contact with Jonathan at the Hypnosis Clinic to help you get started on your journey.”

What did I learn here?

That being confident can be challenging; lack of self-esteem often has it’s roots deep in our childhood, however, even serious problems can be cured.

Sometimes people feel that their lack of self esteem is silly, or not worth bothering anyone with, however, if it’s something that’s taking over your life, it really can be stopped.

If you’d like to find out more about how hypnosis can help you to be more confident, have a look at our website. We offer a free initial consultation, either by a Telehealth video link or at our clinic in Novena Medical Centre.

Relationships

May 5, 2021

How to use hypnosis to improve relationships!

Dr. Lillian Glass, a California-based communication and psychology expert, says in in her 1995 book ‘Toxic People’, that a toxic relationship as “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”

Who would want to be in a relationship like that? Not me for sure! And yet, many people seem to be stuck in relationships that are either going nowhere, or in a very bad direction.

At The Hypnosis Clinic, we see a lot of people who have bad relationships, with their partner, children, siblings, employers, you name it! Of course, sometimes it’s just a bad match or fit, occasionally, one person is in the wrong, and sometimes, people are just bad at relationships generally.

All is not lost! Being good at building relationships is like being good at anything else, it takes practice, perseverance, energy and enthusiasm.

What will I learn in this blog?

• That relationship require work and perseverance
• Some people are better communicators than others
• Looking at the cause of bad relationships is often useful
• How hypnosis could help you to enjoy better relationships

Why do relationships fail?

Awesome blogger, Calvin Rosser, says there are 3 prime reasons why romantic relationships fail, non-acceptance, lack of trust and poor communication.

Non-Acceptance

None of us are perfect and we are bound to find that we have certain traits that irritate our partner and vice versa. Having differences is natural, it’s how you deal with them that matters, how you understand them, how you relate to them.

Let’s say that you enjoy healthy eating and exercise, whereas your partner prefers donuts and staying in bed all day on a Sunday. Over time this might frustrate you and you may even try to change them, by nagging about exercise and ‘forgetting’ to buy donuts at the supermarket. You don’t see this as an issue, as, to your mind, you’re helping them to lead a healthier lifestyle.

Over time this might make your partner angry and resentful. You may think you’re helping, but in fact you are projecting your healthy lifestyle views on him/her and that can lead to resentment.

When you don’t accept your partner, disaster follows. Because when you don’t accept someone, they will not trust or feel comfortable with you. They will feel attacked and resentful about your nonacceptance.

So instead of letting your frustration about your partner’s habits or beliefs lead to a “noble” pursuit to change them, first accept them and then decide what that means for your relationship. If health is one of your most important values and your partner does not value health in the same way, then you might decide that it’s time to move on and find someone who shares your beliefs about health.

Lack of Trust

Ernest Hemingway said, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” That’s so true in relationships.

We have all been hurt when relationships fall apart, especially in our youth, however, learning to trust no-one so we don’t get hurt is no way to move forward.

If you struggle to trust your partner, especially when he or she hasn’t done anything to violate your trust, you need to identify the source of the mistrust. Often, lack of trust stems from our fear of being hurt, which can come from early childhood experiences. Regardless of the cause, it’s up to you to address the issue and trust your partner.

If you can’t comfortably leave your partner with the most attractive and interesting person on the planet, then you don’t trust them. And when you don’t trust them, you may find yourself doing all kinds of weird things, often unconsciously, that can sabotage your relationship.

Poor Communication

Whilst the first few halcyon months of your new relationship may run smoothly, there will eventually be bumps in the road, and that’s when good communication is vital to keep you on the right track.

If you are unable to communicate any frustrations you have effectively, you might start doing thing that make the problem worse, compounding the issues and leaving your partner feeling unsupported.

But if instead, you learn to communicate your emotions and beliefs calmly and honestly from a place of genuine understanding, you’ll be able to handle the challenge more smoothly.

What makes a relationship healthy?

Maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other. Make each other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. Understand the difference between being loved and feeling loved.

Be OK about occasional conflict. You need to feel safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.

Keep this outside interests and relationships going. Expecting too much from your partner can put undue pressure on a relationship and we all need space. Meeting with family and friends allows us to take a break and can be a rush source of great dinner time gossip!

Commit to spending some quality time together on a regular basis. No matter how busy you are, take a few minutes each day to put aside your electronic devices, stop thinking about other things, and really focus on and connect with your partner.

Find something that you enjoy doing together, whether it is a shared hobby, dance class, daily walk, or sitting over a cup of coffee in the morning.

Try something new together. Doing new things together can be a fun way to connect and keep things interesting. It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going on a day trip to a place you’ve never been before.

Focus on having fun together. Couples are often more fun and playful in the early stages of a relationship. However, this playful attitude can sometimes be forgotten as life challenges start getting in the way or old resentments start building up. Keeping a sense of humour can actually help you get through tough times, reduce stress and work through issues more easily.

Think about playful ways to surprise your partner, like bringing flowers home or unexpectedly booking a table at their favourite restaurant. Playing with pets or small children can also help you reconnect with your playful side.

How does hypnotherapy help relationships?

Hypnotherapy works from 2 different directions, firstly to look and see what has actually caused any relationships issues in the past, and then to give you the tools you need to be able to come to terms with bad relationship experiences in the past. This allows you to concentrate enjoying with in the moment and not living in the past or being worried about the future.

It’s important to find a therapist that respects your confidentiality, so that you feel comfortable telling them all about your issues. You might want to have some sessions together as a couple and others separately so that you can work on your own personal issues.

Remember, your exterior world is a reflection of who you are. To change your outer world, you have to change your inner world. That’s where hypnosis really comes in.

You can get more information about relationship counselling at The Singapore Counselling Centre here. or to find out more about hypnosis and how it works, have a look here.

CASE STUDY – Relationships

Helen Williams came to The Hypnosis Clinic about a year ago, for some help with a difficult relationship.

“As this was my very first time to be in Hypnotherapy, I didn’t know really what to expect. All I can say now it was the best decision I’ve ever made regards on my healing process. Jonathan offers a very safe space to make you feel comfortable to open up and let yourself go deep into the process. I felt safe, relaxed and heard in the therapy but also everything what followed out of these sessions together was just eye opening. Thank you!”

What did I learn here?

That relationships can be challenging; they need care and attention, effort and commitment to get right.

Sometimes people feel that they can never have the happy, successful relationship they want, however, loving and being loved is something we can all do, with a little practice.

If you’d like to find out more about how hypnosis can help you with relationships, have a look at our website. We offer a free initial consultation, either by a Telehealth video link or at our clinic right in Novena Medical Centre.

Public Speaking

May 5, 2021

How to use hypnosis to be a brilliant public speaker!

It was Dale Carnegie who said, “You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.” A common fear among many people is the fear of public speaking.

The idea of standing in front of an audience to persuade or present often causes worry and anxiety, but it doesn’t have to.

What will I learn in this blog?

• How to prepare your presentation so that you feel confident
• Some great techniques to communicate with your audience
• Body language skills to appear more confident
• How to enjoy presentations more and more

Why is it so frightening?

Maybe it’s a presentation in front of your boss, the dreaded Best Man’s Speech, or even an important telephone call with a client. No matter what the occasion, we can often get so worried about a public presentation that it feels like your life in in danger. There’s a good reason for that, and once you understand it, public speaking is easy!

Let me give you an example; I place a large scaffolding plank on the floor of your living room, paint it bright red and ask you to walk along it from one end to the other. Think you can do that without falling off? Of course you can, it’s a doddle.

Now let’s take that very same plank, stick it out of the top of a skyscraper and take a walk along it. What? do you mean ‘No’? It’s easy! Its exactly the same task as it was in your living room, so why are you nervous about it being a little higher?

The truth is you are right to be nervous! The perceived threat is very real. If you fall off the plank in your living room, you end up on a nice fluffy carpet, if you do the same from the top of a skyscraper? Well, best we don’t go there.

It’s this same perceived threat that can make public speaking appear so scary; if you get lost in the middle of a conversation with your mum in the living room, it doesn’t matter, if you do the same in front of your boss and 3,000 people on Zoom, well, it does! Yet, the skill set is exactly the same, it’s just the venue that alters.

The performance anxiety associated with speaking in public is simply the fear of being judged. And that’s the fear that can trip us up!

For the next part of this story, we are going on a rollercoaster.

The person in front of me in the queue hates rollercoasters. He thinks they are dangerous. His body is reacting in just the way you would expect; his heart rate increases, his blood pressure goes up, his hands feel clammy, there’s no saliva in his mouth, his skin feels tingly. He perceives danger!

Now, I’m in the queue behind him and I love rollercoasters! Guess what my body is doing? My heart rate increases, my blood pressure goes up, my hands feel clammy, there’s no saliva in my mouth, my skin feels tingly. I perceive excitement!

Isn’t it weird that our bodies are doing the same thing, we just interpret it differently. And that’s the most important part in enjoying public speaking, to see it as being exciting, not frightening. To embrace the fact that communicating is a skill we are all good at and to feel as comfortable in talking to a crowd of strangers as you do with a group of friends.

So what do I do to change all this?

Your attitude to public speaking is the most important part; see it as being something exciting, and no more threatening than chatting to your mum. (Unless, of course, your mum is really scary, in which case, choose someone else).

Familiarity is everything! The more you do it, the better you get. It’s a skill that you learn through practice, so rather than avoid being in a situation where you may be asked to give a speech, go out and look for it, be the person that is always asked to do it and you’ll enjoy the entire experience more every time.

OK – here are my Top Ten Tips for success in speaking:

• Think Out Your Ideas

In order to speak well in front of multiple people, you need to have your entire presentation planned out. Just as you would create an outline for a research paper, you should do the same for your presentation. You’ll need to support your ideas, so think of examples that you can use as evidence. Structure your thoughts in a way that makes sense, and create a feeling of completeness with a beginning, middle, and end.

• Be Prepared

You will need to practice your speech in order to feel confident while speaking. Don’t wait until the last minute to prepare or you will not feel ready to present. Instead of trying to memorise every word, only memorise the key points of your outline and the examples you will be using for support. You want to be engaged, not robotic-sounding. Your speech should flow naturally, as if you were having a conversation with another person.

• Start Confidently

The opening of your presentation will determine how the rest of the speech goes, so speak with assertiveness and at a volume where everyone can easily hear you. Open with a strong statement and bold language in order to convey confidence. Remember that the audience has no prior opinions or thoughts on what you are going to say, and you are the authoritative source in this situation.

Use your body to tell the audience you are comfortable being where you are.

• Make Eye Contact

Throughout your presentation, it is important to make eye contact with individuals in the room. While you should not focus on one particular person for two long, it is okay to hold someone’s gaze for a few seconds. If you look at the floor or in a random direction, your audience will sense that you are not as engaged as you could be. Making eye contact lets your listeners know that you believe in what you are saying and that you are there to inform them about something new.

• Slow Down

A beginner’s mistake when it comes to public speaking is to rush through the presentation. When you walk to the podium or front of the room, take a deep breath, look at your audience, and even count to five before starting to speak. It may feel like an eternity, but it will seem like a normal amount of time to the people in the room. Remember to speak clearly and annunciate your words. You should have a slight pause after commas and between sentences, and an even bigger pause between paragraphs or major points in your argument.

When you. Use an elongated pause, you really capture the attention of the room.

• Stay Steady

Most people know that it’s important not to fidget during a presentation, but it’s also crucial that you limit your movement as much as possible. Slight swaying or talking with your hands can be just as distracting as ordinary fidgeting. Stand with your feet about shoulder width apart, keep your head up, and plant your feet firmly to the ground. It may feel awkward to hold this stance for a long time, but it will help you to stand up straight and look more confident while you speak.

Please don’t fill your hands with 224 marker pens.

If you’re using a projector or slide show, turn it off when you’re not directly using it. Then the focus of attention is you!

• Be Human

Remember: it’s okay to be slightly nervous. In fact, it’s normal and beneficial. Don’t worry about seeming nervous in front of others, since everybody in the room has had to give a presentation at one point and understands how you feel. If you make a mistake, that’s okay too. Just take a deep breath and pick up where you left off. Keep in mind that everyone in the room is looking forward to hearing what you have to say.

• Expect success

You only need one good performance and you will start to see the excitement in what you do.

• Use your body!

Read about body language. It really will help you to get the audience on your side. Get Alan Pease’s seminal book on ‘Body Language’ and study how to communicate properly. Did you know that the communication that goes on between you and your audience is 78% non-verbal and only 22% verbal? Once you learn some of the techniques of using your body to communicate, you really are in control!

Palms are important! Show them to indicate you mean no harm. (Not Jazz Hands though please)

Ok – sound great – now tell me about Hypnosis!

As you have seen, enjoying public speaking is all about being in control of your thoughts and feelings, telling your body you are safe and having fun.

Using hypnosis is the perfect way to get a healthy perspective on talking to an audience. We use special techniques to boost your natural skills.

– Increase mental calmness when you are speaking and on the run up to an event.

– Feel more physically relaxed and safe

– Have bags of confidence in your abilities and knowledge

– Be more competent when you present

We can even make a unique self hypnosis recording for you to use as your exciting event gets closer. It really will change the way you enjoy speaking in public forever!

You can get more information about good sleep from the NHS via this link.

To find out more about hypnosis and how it works, have a look here.

CASE STUDY

Denisa Williams came to The Hypnosis Clinic in late 2020 to see if it could help with social anxiety and fear of public speaking.

“During our 4 sessions, Jonathan has always been very supportive, understanding and always there to answer all my questions even outside our sessions. Jonathan created a very relaxing and safe environment during our sessions and as a result I have slowly started to see changes in my language, attitudes and behaviours right our first hypnosis session. I resonated very well with his method of therapy and I can warmly recommend The Hypnosis Clinic to anyone who is suffering of anxiety, low self-esteem or fear of public speaking”

What did I learn here?

Enjoying public speaking is just getting into a good habit, and hypnosis can really help you to do that. Generally you should expect to have 3 to 4 sessions and and have a custom-made recording to get that new habit established really quickly.

If you’d like to find out more about how hypnosis can help you, have a look at our website. We offer a free initial consultation, either by a Telehealth video link or at our clinic in Novena Medical Centre.

Or if you fancy a chat, just give us a call.